And along with that, single-handed abatement of hormonal highs is a sensible and effective means of self-control for most guys and some girls.For some, being single-minded is adequate, for many it is more practical also to be single-handed.Of course, in the delightful event that you find yourselves steadily converging socially and emotionally after any hormonal high has abated, then the presupposition of transience can happily be discarded as you move to engagement.The sexual urge is supremely irrational, so it needs to be balanced with a good deliberate dose of rational thinking and appraisal.This chapter presumes both that marriage is the goal and is foreseeable in a few years, through perhaps several relationships.It aims also to take into account those who, from outside the frame of reference of chapter 2, may come to marriage via faithful premarital sexual relationship or even cohabitation.The biblical, and hence Christian, benchmark for romantic appreciation and engagement is the Song of Songs.
Of course, long-term singleness is another matter, and needs to be a calling, with marriage the norm where possible.
Apart from ongoing faithful relationships with long-term potential, on the trajectory towards marriage, there is of course scope for more recreational encounters and social friendships where you simply hang out to enjoy one another as people.
The sexual buzz is there, but for any number of reasons the long-term prospect of anything more than friendship is not for the time being.
Marriage is arguably the most important decision a Christian person will make, it therefore needs careful, unhurried and critical consideration based on evolving familiarity. It needs to be said that if the chief driver towards marriage is to satisfy one's emotional or sexual needs, it is likely to end in grief (though incidentally needs will be met in any marriage). If the driver is genital more than rational, beware!
The maturity of contented singleness is a better starting point for being able to give oneself to another.